dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize