so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
