I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
