So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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