My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
