I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
