Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
NoShamevember. You game?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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