Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
