Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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