So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My feet surprised me
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