If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize