He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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