Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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