drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
