Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
