she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
