but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
FUCK WHALES
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
