She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
