My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize