Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
