Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
