This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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