I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
