She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
