there was a trapeze. enough said
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize