My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
