if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
