Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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