He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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