The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You are a genius and a whore.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
