just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize