Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
