I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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