We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize