Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
