we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
