i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You were trust falling into bushes
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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