so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
