forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
