can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
