We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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