i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
