I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
