watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I touched a dick in church today
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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