So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
