She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
