id be glad to
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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