Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
do herpes really smell.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize