now i know why i became what i already was.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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