Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It's never too late to be topless.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
