I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
