Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You have to summon your inner elephant
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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