After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
organizing the empties. That sober.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize