Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
