she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
