one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
