he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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