Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
