im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
