My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i think my cat just said my name.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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