Ambien. No doubt about it.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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