My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
