My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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