SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
