OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
