didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
That reminds me...we need to get swords
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
it glows. i had to have it.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
