thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
