fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
