i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
