we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
