Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
