it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
