i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
