i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
