garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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