dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize