walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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