It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
