he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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