Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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