I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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