I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I would fuck him just for his dog
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
