The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
