he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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